A Psalm

So on my phone, I have this app that gives me a different bible verse to read every day. I like it, because quite frankly it’s pretty convenient to open my phone and get to that app with the verse right there. Sometimes they really touch me and some days its just nice to read the Word. Today I got a really awesome verse. It was a Psalm, so of course it was awesome because who doesn’t love the Psalms… That book is kind of like a cure-all, and certainly knows how to give a person hope and comfort. If you have never opened it, I highly recommend it. They really are beautiful. Anyways, I read Psalm 139:1-8 which reads:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”

It’s astounding when you think about it. Who are we to be so sought out and loved so dearly by a God so great? He knows us so much better than we know ourselves; he knows the things we are going to say before the thought even crosses our minds. Not only that, but he knows the details that don’t matter to anyone else- when we sit and when we rise. He cares enough about us to be familiar with our ways- our habits, the way we do our hair, how we like our food cooked, what makes us tick, what makes us incandescently happy. We can’t hide from Him. When we are in the highest of highs, he is there. The opposite end of the spectrum is something I think a lot of us have a difficult time believing- that in the darkest of times, in the lowest of lows, He is there, even when we don’t feel Him, he is always there.

How fortunate we are, how extremely blessed we are to have such an incredible God that wants to care for us and know us this intimately. Does He have to care for us the way He does? I don’t think so… But I do know that he cares for us the way he does because he loves us in a way that nobody else can and will provide more than a temporary happiness. A lot of worldly things can bring us joy or comfort enough to forget any kind of pain… but its all temporary. Wouldn’t you rather a love that lasts longer than a temporary “high?” I know I would, and I give thanks that I do have that love. Not because I deserve it, but because I seek and I find it in my God. So can you.

Just For A Season.

Have you ever found a really good friend in a time of need? Have you ever lost that friend after a short amount of time? Have you ever broken up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or been broken up with? I know I have experienced a handful of experiences like that. Its one of the most difficult parts of life, losing someone you love. Maybe its because things just didn’t work out, maybe that person passed away or maybe the friendship just slowly faded out. Lets not sugar coat this one: losing someone you care about absolutely sucks. I have found that it usually sucks the most when you lose someone that you really care about, someone who meant a whole lot to you, someone who had an impact in your life because most often, these people are the ones you really cant forget.

Unfortunately, this is just a part of life, and I believe that most of the time, God brings people in and out of our lives to serve a specific purpose. Last year, my freshman year of college, I was in a completely new place, I barely knew anyone. I commuted so it was a lot more difficult for me to connect with people and meet new friends. I was taking a psychology class with a crazy professor, and there was someone in that class that I befriended, and found that he was in a couple other classes of mine as well. I found that I really was able to connect with him, we were similar in a lot of ways and it was so nice to have someone around that I could talk to or goof off with. I went through a lot my freshman year, and when nobody else was there he was right by my side and listened to me vent, saw me cry and learned a lot about me that not a lot of people know. He helped me through some hard times and was a genuine friend. Towards the end of the year, stuff happened and we kind of fell apart. I was confused and bitter and I honestly felt robbed. He had a big piece of my life, as he knew a whole lot about me, and now we weren’t even talking. I felt ignored and betrayed. Things were eventually slightly resolved, and I got over being bitter. I am able to see in hindsight that yes, he was someone that I really cared about, but he was placed in my life to serve a season. He taught me a whole lot. He helped me through things when I needed a friend and he was part of the reason for some positive changes I made in my life. I’d like to think that I was able to show him and teach him some things too, but maybe ill never know that. I’m not bitter anymore; in fact if he called today for a favor or to see how I was, I would be pleasantly surprised. But I learned through our friendship that some people are there just for a season.

When someone walks out of your life, know its not always for no reason. Know that you don’t have to stay bitter at them, in fact its unhealthy and sinful to stay bitter at someone. If they did you wrong, forgive them and let go. If someone walks out of your life, its also okay to let them back in but its important to realize that this person may not ever come back. They served their purpose and you can find peace in the fact that there is a rhyme and a reason for everything, in every season.

 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Rain.

Today is a rainy day. Pouring rain for that matter. Its funny, on so many other days, I would say that I hate rain. I don’t like clouds and I don’t like most forms of any kind of precipitation. Mostly because I find it depressing, but I also just love the sun way too much. Something about warm sunlight and a stunningly blue sky gives me so much happiness and almost a comfort. Today I find myself thankful for the rain. Despite the clouds, despite the sandy snow that continues to shrink down and despite getting drenched as I walk from one building to the next, its okay. The rain is reminding me of God. How he both rains down on my life and in the life of his followers, and how he reigns in my life. No matter how many times I fail and sin and begin to shrivel and dry up, God comes in the midst of a storm and quenches my thirst, replenishes me and builds me back up. The funny thing is that he is always there to do that, and promises to do that, all we need to do is call his name… And yet I continually try to do things on my own. I get caught up in my own issues and stresses and situations of life, only to fall down in the end. Even after my ignorance and selfishness, he picks me up with grace that falls like rain, and I carry on.

So today, and every day, I will strive to find peace in the Lord raining and reigning in my life and I challenge you to do the same. You are a child of God, go dance in the rain and be refreshed. 

Love, Love, Love.

Valentines day. What a loaded holiday. I think that just about everyone has different opinions on Valentines day. Some of us are indifferent, its just another day, while others would rather sleep through the entire day and wake up on the 15^th, wanting to vomit at the sight of roses and chocolate and couples holding hands. And then there are those of us who just love it. Who love… loving. Whether that be a significant other, friends, family, life, you name it. Now me? Ha. If you know me, you already know what kind of person I am… I like Valentines day! And don’t think that its just because I have been in a relationship for the past few Valentines days. Its because I love loving, I love caring for other people. I love making people feel special. What can I say, im kind of a hopeless romantic. Lame, I know. Anyways. Back to the point. Love. I feel like love is something that has been blown up by Hollywood with false hope that will never fail to dissapoint. I mean, you have girls all over the world who are watching chick flicks about men flying across the world to meet the love of his life, or falling in love with a stranger, love at first sight, you know the deal. Don’t get me wrong, if anyone loves chick flicks im the first one to admit it. I absolutely love them. But do they really portray what it means to fall in love? Especially from a Christian perspective… it really messes people up. You have relationships that solely focus on the feelings, if you're not having sex its not normal, your significant other doesn’t act like Noah from the Notebook or Prince Charming and wants to gush to the world his emotions, he automatically flawed. But is that really love? Do any of these movies portray what it really means to fall in love with someone? What does it mean to be in  love? Love is a crazy thing, and something that I can honestly say has been in my life. It’s the best feeling and losing it is the worst. One thing that I have learned, is that love is so much more than a feeling. Love is a knowledge. Love what still lingers no matter what life throws your way. After all the gushy feelings and butterflies fade, love is what keeps you connected, what carries you through at the end of the day. Love means putting that person first, but putting God before each other, always. And through putting God first, you help each other grow through the best and the worst of life. Their happiness becomes your best interest and sometimes you have to give and not expect anything in return. There are so many ups and downs to a relationship, and its never perfect of course. A perfect relationship is unheard of. 

The funny thing about love is that the best love, the best relationship, the only love that will always satisfy without fail, is the love of God. Honestly, how much more perfect of a love can you get? This is someone who loves you no matter what you do- cheat, steal, lie, murder, you name it. This is someone who legitimately got nailed to a cross, crucified, so that we could have life and be forgiven. There is absolutely nothing on this earth more satisfying than Him, only he can quench the most unquenchable thirst, only he can give you lasting happiness and satisfaction that you cant get from anything on this earth. Am I saying that if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that you will always be happy? Of course not. We live in a messed up world, and nothing here will ever be perfect or happy all the time. But what I am saying is that a relationship with the only one who is perfect can and will be the best thing that you have in this world, and that’s a promise. Don’t believe me? Read it yourself. Im giving you a link to the Fathers Love Letter, a letter from Him to us, derived straight from verses in the bible, not altered or changed in any way. God loves us so much, imagine what it would be like falling in love with Him. He loves you no matter who you are, don't ever doubt that.

The Fathers Love Letter.

Hakuna Matata.

Hi all! Hope the new semester is treating you well, it’s been great getting back into the whole school thing, back on a solid routine and used to my new classes and teachers. If you don’t go to school, I hope things are going great as we are full swing ahead into the second month of the New Year! We have enough snow to last us until at least May, if not August. I forget what grass looks like… you know its bad when above freezing feels warm… okay enough about the winter, you can probably tell I am not the biggest fan : )

ANYWAYS... So, if we are being honest here, which I feel like I should be because it’s a blog and I’m strive to be an honest person, the last month has not been the easiest of months in my life. There have been a lot of things to think about and even more things to worry and stress about. There have been times of complete hopelessness, confusion, anger… No matter who you are or where you are in life, I know you can relate to these feelings. When was the last time you could tell someone that you were totally and completely confident in life and had not a care in the world? Yeah… that’s what I thought. There are a lot of things in life that make us worried! Finances, family issues, school, work, and the list goes on. As human beings, we let worry and stress become a part of our daily lives, it becomes almost normal. Ponder that for a minute… these things should not be “normal” no matter what!

Did you know that worry is a sin? God COMMANDS us not to worry, and to cast our cares upon him. Peter puts it short and sweet- “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) How much more simple can it get? When you are a follower of Jesus, you can find peace in the fact that God has it under control, even in the worst of times. God always has a plan and he also knows best, it may not always feel like it but isn’t that what faith is all about? Trusting that God is with you even in the storms of life, and bringing your fear and anxiety to him, knowing that he will always take care of you. The devo I read put it beautifully. Rick Warren writes:

"...There is no reason good enough to worry. When we are in the midst of realities in our lives that might cause us to worry, Jesus is saying we need to choose faith instead. How do you make this choice? You understand the character of God. You understand his love for you and how he wants to work in your life." 

How much more perfectly can that be put? What a beautiful thing. Ill end this blog with the verse that has been my encouragement, and I can only hope that it would be yours too.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9
 

Thoughts.

I cant believe semester two has begun. I’m finally moved back in, settled and classes are in full gear. Even though yesterday was our first day of classes, my only class was yoga. It was a real rough day... Ha. Today was my first “real” day of classes and I’m actually pretty psyched. My schedule certainly isn’t going to be easy, but I have some pretty awesome teachers so far, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Today I was thinking about relationships. Relationships between friends, family, significant others, roommates, class mates, I could go on and on and on... Our lives are chalk full of relationships! If you think about it, relationships are so vital to our lives. According to Maslow, a famous psychologist for those who aren’t familiar with the name, love and belonging through relationships are a basic human need. Im honestly not really sure where im going with this… but isn’t that a crazy thought? I think about my life without relationships in it… it would be so empty, I would be miserable! I do consider myself a social person, but even for someone who isn't social, relationships are still so important. I rely on my relationships with others for so many things. I rely on my parents to be there for support (both moral and financial!) and guidance and love. I rely on my friends to be there for me, to talk to and to listen, for good company, a laugh or a good time. I rely on church and faith group to help me to grow in my faith and help me to continue to walk on the right path, worshipping, and just times of fellowship together. 

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

How encouraging it is to have a solid friend or companion by your side, to guide you in your walk with Christ and in other things! I have a hard time finding time and motivation to go to the gym on a routine basis. My good friend Charissa and I became gym buddies, and we encourage one another to get our butts out the door and even at the gym we push each other and get an awesome work out. Without her encouragement I don’t know if Id make it to the gym as much as I do!

Another example of this in my life is something my boyfriend and I just began doing- daily devotionals. We use one online, and on our own time we read it and try to talk about it later in the day. This is something that keeps me on track. Not only does he hold me accountable, but I want to continue to grow with him in Christ and spend my own time with God. Being so far away from each other, this is a really awesome way to do it.

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind." Phillipians 2:1-2

We are wired to work and be with other people, to have relationships with one another, both in communities and with each other. Ill leave you with this verse, as it describes how everyone has a place and a function, and cant live just on their own.

"If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be." 1 Corinthians 12:17-18

Random thoughts turned into a long blog, hope you enjoyed!

Follow your heart.

It was almost this time last year (give or take a couple months) that I had a conversation with my dad that I will never forget. Whether he realizes it or not, he said something that really stuck with me. It was a really hard time in my life where I was faced with a really difficult decision. I was confused and lost and I really didn’t know which direction to run. When I’m feeling that way, my dad is always the best person to talk to for advice and the honest truth. When I was talking to him, one thing he said was this. If you are praying about something and seeking God, you just need to follow your heart and you really cant go wrong. It just hit home pretty hard. It was so true… as hard as any decision may be, if you are praying and seeking God about what to do, all you can do is follow your heart. This certainly is a lot easier said than done. It’s not easy to have that blind faith… not only in God but also in yourself. You really need to trust yourself and that gut feeling, because 9 times out of 10 it’s where you should be going. I wont go into it, but that decision I made was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I followed my heart and I followed where I heard God calling me. Did I have doubts? Absolutely. I over think most everything, its a character flaw I really need to work on. For a while I questioned myself, some days were harder than others where I thought I had made the wrong decision and ruined my future forever. But my thinking was out of line, because I did make the right decision for myself and although some days are hard even today, my life has changed drastically. A lot of things have changed over the past year and something pretty amazing is taking place as a result of the decision I made that day. I’m so excited to see where God is taking me and leading my life. The road ahead isn’t going to be easy, but it will certainly be worth it.