Rain.

Today is a rainy day. Pouring rain for that matter. Its funny, on so many other days, I would say that I hate rain. I don’t like clouds and I don’t like most forms of any kind of precipitation. Mostly because I find it depressing, but I also just love the sun way too much. Something about warm sunlight and a stunningly blue sky gives me so much happiness and almost a comfort. Today I find myself thankful for the rain. Despite the clouds, despite the sandy snow that continues to shrink down and despite getting drenched as I walk from one building to the next, its okay. The rain is reminding me of God. How he both rains down on my life and in the life of his followers, and how he reigns in my life. No matter how many times I fail and sin and begin to shrivel and dry up, God comes in the midst of a storm and quenches my thirst, replenishes me and builds me back up. The funny thing is that he is always there to do that, and promises to do that, all we need to do is call his name… And yet I continually try to do things on my own. I get caught up in my own issues and stresses and situations of life, only to fall down in the end. Even after my ignorance and selfishness, he picks me up with grace that falls like rain, and I carry on.

So today, and every day, I will strive to find peace in the Lord raining and reigning in my life and I challenge you to do the same. You are a child of God, go dance in the rain and be refreshed. 

Love, Love, Love.

Valentines day. What a loaded holiday. I think that just about everyone has different opinions on Valentines day. Some of us are indifferent, its just another day, while others would rather sleep through the entire day and wake up on the 15^th, wanting to vomit at the sight of roses and chocolate and couples holding hands. And then there are those of us who just love it. Who love… loving. Whether that be a significant other, friends, family, life, you name it. Now me? Ha. If you know me, you already know what kind of person I am… I like Valentines day! And don’t think that its just because I have been in a relationship for the past few Valentines days. Its because I love loving, I love caring for other people. I love making people feel special. What can I say, im kind of a hopeless romantic. Lame, I know. Anyways. Back to the point. Love. I feel like love is something that has been blown up by Hollywood with false hope that will never fail to dissapoint. I mean, you have girls all over the world who are watching chick flicks about men flying across the world to meet the love of his life, or falling in love with a stranger, love at first sight, you know the deal. Don’t get me wrong, if anyone loves chick flicks im the first one to admit it. I absolutely love them. But do they really portray what it means to fall in love? Especially from a Christian perspective… it really messes people up. You have relationships that solely focus on the feelings, if you're not having sex its not normal, your significant other doesn’t act like Noah from the Notebook or Prince Charming and wants to gush to the world his emotions, he automatically flawed. But is that really love? Do any of these movies portray what it really means to fall in love with someone? What does it mean to be in  love? Love is a crazy thing, and something that I can honestly say has been in my life. It’s the best feeling and losing it is the worst. One thing that I have learned, is that love is so much more than a feeling. Love is a knowledge. Love what still lingers no matter what life throws your way. After all the gushy feelings and butterflies fade, love is what keeps you connected, what carries you through at the end of the day. Love means putting that person first, but putting God before each other, always. And through putting God first, you help each other grow through the best and the worst of life. Their happiness becomes your best interest and sometimes you have to give and not expect anything in return. There are so many ups and downs to a relationship, and its never perfect of course. A perfect relationship is unheard of. 

The funny thing about love is that the best love, the best relationship, the only love that will always satisfy without fail, is the love of God. Honestly, how much more perfect of a love can you get? This is someone who loves you no matter what you do- cheat, steal, lie, murder, you name it. This is someone who legitimately got nailed to a cross, crucified, so that we could have life and be forgiven. There is absolutely nothing on this earth more satisfying than Him, only he can quench the most unquenchable thirst, only he can give you lasting happiness and satisfaction that you cant get from anything on this earth. Am I saying that if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that you will always be happy? Of course not. We live in a messed up world, and nothing here will ever be perfect or happy all the time. But what I am saying is that a relationship with the only one who is perfect can and will be the best thing that you have in this world, and that’s a promise. Don’t believe me? Read it yourself. Im giving you a link to the Fathers Love Letter, a letter from Him to us, derived straight from verses in the bible, not altered or changed in any way. God loves us so much, imagine what it would be like falling in love with Him. He loves you no matter who you are, don't ever doubt that.

The Fathers Love Letter.

Hakuna Matata.

Hi all! Hope the new semester is treating you well, it’s been great getting back into the whole school thing, back on a solid routine and used to my new classes and teachers. If you don’t go to school, I hope things are going great as we are full swing ahead into the second month of the New Year! We have enough snow to last us until at least May, if not August. I forget what grass looks like… you know its bad when above freezing feels warm… okay enough about the winter, you can probably tell I am not the biggest fan : )

ANYWAYS... So, if we are being honest here, which I feel like I should be because it’s a blog and I’m strive to be an honest person, the last month has not been the easiest of months in my life. There have been a lot of things to think about and even more things to worry and stress about. There have been times of complete hopelessness, confusion, anger… No matter who you are or where you are in life, I know you can relate to these feelings. When was the last time you could tell someone that you were totally and completely confident in life and had not a care in the world? Yeah… that’s what I thought. There are a lot of things in life that make us worried! Finances, family issues, school, work, and the list goes on. As human beings, we let worry and stress become a part of our daily lives, it becomes almost normal. Ponder that for a minute… these things should not be “normal” no matter what!

Did you know that worry is a sin? God COMMANDS us not to worry, and to cast our cares upon him. Peter puts it short and sweet- “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) How much more simple can it get? When you are a follower of Jesus, you can find peace in the fact that God has it under control, even in the worst of times. God always has a plan and he also knows best, it may not always feel like it but isn’t that what faith is all about? Trusting that God is with you even in the storms of life, and bringing your fear and anxiety to him, knowing that he will always take care of you. The devo I read put it beautifully. Rick Warren writes:

"...There is no reason good enough to worry. When we are in the midst of realities in our lives that might cause us to worry, Jesus is saying we need to choose faith instead. How do you make this choice? You understand the character of God. You understand his love for you and how he wants to work in your life." 

How much more perfectly can that be put? What a beautiful thing. Ill end this blog with the verse that has been my encouragement, and I can only hope that it would be yours too.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9
 

Thoughts.

I cant believe semester two has begun. I’m finally moved back in, settled and classes are in full gear. Even though yesterday was our first day of classes, my only class was yoga. It was a real rough day... Ha. Today was my first “real” day of classes and I’m actually pretty psyched. My schedule certainly isn’t going to be easy, but I have some pretty awesome teachers so far, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Today I was thinking about relationships. Relationships between friends, family, significant others, roommates, class mates, I could go on and on and on... Our lives are chalk full of relationships! If you think about it, relationships are so vital to our lives. According to Maslow, a famous psychologist for those who aren’t familiar with the name, love and belonging through relationships are a basic human need. Im honestly not really sure where im going with this… but isn’t that a crazy thought? I think about my life without relationships in it… it would be so empty, I would be miserable! I do consider myself a social person, but even for someone who isn't social, relationships are still so important. I rely on my relationships with others for so many things. I rely on my parents to be there for support (both moral and financial!) and guidance and love. I rely on my friends to be there for me, to talk to and to listen, for good company, a laugh or a good time. I rely on church and faith group to help me to grow in my faith and help me to continue to walk on the right path, worshipping, and just times of fellowship together. 

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

How encouraging it is to have a solid friend or companion by your side, to guide you in your walk with Christ and in other things! I have a hard time finding time and motivation to go to the gym on a routine basis. My good friend Charissa and I became gym buddies, and we encourage one another to get our butts out the door and even at the gym we push each other and get an awesome work out. Without her encouragement I don’t know if Id make it to the gym as much as I do!

Another example of this in my life is something my boyfriend and I just began doing- daily devotionals. We use one online, and on our own time we read it and try to talk about it later in the day. This is something that keeps me on track. Not only does he hold me accountable, but I want to continue to grow with him in Christ and spend my own time with God. Being so far away from each other, this is a really awesome way to do it.

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind." Phillipians 2:1-2

We are wired to work and be with other people, to have relationships with one another, both in communities and with each other. Ill leave you with this verse, as it describes how everyone has a place and a function, and cant live just on their own.

"If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be." 1 Corinthians 12:17-18

Random thoughts turned into a long blog, hope you enjoyed!

Follow your heart.

It was almost this time last year (give or take a couple months) that I had a conversation with my dad that I will never forget. Whether he realizes it or not, he said something that really stuck with me. It was a really hard time in my life where I was faced with a really difficult decision. I was confused and lost and I really didn’t know which direction to run. When I’m feeling that way, my dad is always the best person to talk to for advice and the honest truth. When I was talking to him, one thing he said was this. If you are praying about something and seeking God, you just need to follow your heart and you really cant go wrong. It just hit home pretty hard. It was so true… as hard as any decision may be, if you are praying and seeking God about what to do, all you can do is follow your heart. This certainly is a lot easier said than done. It’s not easy to have that blind faith… not only in God but also in yourself. You really need to trust yourself and that gut feeling, because 9 times out of 10 it’s where you should be going. I wont go into it, but that decision I made was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I followed my heart and I followed where I heard God calling me. Did I have doubts? Absolutely. I over think most everything, its a character flaw I really need to work on. For a while I questioned myself, some days were harder than others where I thought I had made the wrong decision and ruined my future forever. But my thinking was out of line, because I did make the right decision for myself and although some days are hard even today, my life has changed drastically. A lot of things have changed over the past year and something pretty amazing is taking place as a result of the decision I made that day. I’m so excited to see where God is taking me and leading my life. The road ahead isn’t going to be easy, but it will certainly be worth it.

Dwelling On The Destination.

So. I have had my epiphany. I was driving down the highway the other day and just thinking about things and I had a mild realization. Disclaimer: its nothing huge, but that’s kind of the beauty of it. Its also very cliché, but its something that we as human beings tend to lose sight of especially for someone like me, who is antsy and so much anticipating the rest of my life out of school. I realized that for one; it is going to do me absolutely no good to not be content with the life I am living right now, the life of a college student. In fact, I should be doing the exact opposite… I should be enjoying the life I am living right now as a student. I have so many incredible opportunities right here, right now in Massachusetts. I am working on getting Intervarsity started on my campus and have the role of president. I’m learning some pretty amazing stuff and I’m about to start my first clinical as a nursing student. I have two and a half more years and there’s no changing that… why be bumming out about something that is not going to change any time soon? I want to look back on these years and remember a time of my life that I enjoyed and changed lives and changed a campus that didn’t know what it meant to be a Christian. Even if I touch as many lives that I can count on one hand, that will be enough. This thing we call life is a journey, its an adventure in itself. There are going to be a few stops on the way, goals reached, turning points in life. But life isn’t about the destinations, life is about the journey. You have to love the journey on your on in order to love the destination you want to reach. Its what makes reaching the destination worthwhile. Of course, the destination is amazing, and its good to think about once in a while for some inspiration, a light at the end of the tunnel if you will… but what’s the use of dwelling on something far down the line? If you are dwelling on the destination, you’re never going to get there because you are going to be stuck thinking about it, never having even moved.

Craving.

January already? Insane. I am almost half way through my college journey… whack. Winter break has been nothing short of refreshing. Being home with my family, seeing old friends and being in the town I have spent my 19 years of life in. I am so fortunate and blessed to be where I am, to have an education, a family, extended family within minutes of my house, better friends than I could ever ask for, my dogs, the beach, I have everything I need plus so much more…. And yet the past few days I have really been struggling with being unsatisfied with the life I am living. I’m not sure what has brought it on. Maybe too many days of doing nothing exciting, too much time sitting at home, too much time in Hamilton. Despite everything I have, I want something more. Don’t think I have figured this out and have some outstanding epiphany to share about this, because I don’t. I figured I'd write about it and maybe figure it out here. I had a talk with my brother yesterday, its funny because he was feeling the same way. He wanted change, something different. Tired of living life he does right now. He is only 15 with so much life ahead of him, and will only have to fight through the next couple years of high school and he is off to adventure the world of college. A couple years compared to the rest of his life is such a short time. I guess the same goes for me though, two more years of college then off to the real world, I can do all the adventuring I want. Grad school, doctors without borders, world vision, California… So much I want to do, I just wish I could do it now. Until then, I suppose I just really need to be praying and seeking God, finding satisfaction in Him, because I certainly wont find it in the world. If you are reading this and find you can relate, here are a few verses. I am going to challenge myself to find everything I need and more in the Lord, not in the lack of adventure and craziness in my life.

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” Matthew 5:6

“Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:8-9

I need to curb this craving with what only God can give me. I need to delight in the Lord. This unsatisfaction is worldly and superficial, two things I wont stand to be. God, help me to find whatever I'm searching for in you.